As far as I can tell, the world is almost entirely united in the belief that money brings happiness. Despite the worn-out cliché claiming you cannot buy happiness, most of those with ‘less’ money seem to believe deep-down that this is false.
So many times I’ve heard friends say “If I won the lottery, I would…” as if money is the key to the perfect lifestyle. This has really struck me lately and made me wonder about this concept. It’s as if people watch celebrities and think that having numbers in a bank account will boost your internal hormones and create good feelings long-term.
Some of my happiest times have been when I was completely penniless. I remember being lost in the USA with a friend, sleeping a car during snow-season and shoplifting vegetables to supplement the more affordable McDonalds (seriously America, what is up with that?). This was one of the best times of my life, because I was travelling, one of my favourite hobbies.
I have also had many great adventures that cost a lot of cash. On the surface you could attribute the happiness to money, however it was the people I was with that really made those experiences really special. And they didn’t cost me anything.
As a Confidence Coach I believe the true key to happiness is through living your purpose and becoming truly self-confident.
Simple as that.
I believe this, because now that I have achieved highly in both of those areas I do feel genuinely happy about life most of the time; like I could die without regret. This was not always the case, I promise you that!
So, if you believe this as well, read on while I describe a simple exercise to discover your purpose. Once you start living it, then you will build self-confidence along the way.
The Rule of Three
First, choose three areas of your life that you wish to improve. Most people in self-development use the Health, Wealth and Relationships model. You can call these anything you like, or choose different ones, like hobbies, academic knowledge, sports etc. Just choose no more than three as it will get too much to focus on otherwise.
Now for each of these three areas, answer these three questions in as much detail as you possibly can (write the answers down):
If this area of my life was perfect, exactly as I dream it could be, with no limits:
- What would I be doing (activities)?
- What would I think of myself (self-worth)?
- How would other people describe me (what about you would inspire others)?
You need to be really descriptive and emotive here. Here’s an example of what this might end up looking like (for the Wealth area):
I will have a number of small businesses set up around the world being managed by other people. Through this I will have the financial freedom to travel the world, working from my laptop to run these businesses remotely, whilst enjoying new cultures and making new friends. I will be a confident, considerate and assertive leader of people, seen as an adventurous captain of industry. Every day I will wake up with a huge smile on my face and be prepared to leap out of bed to dive straight into expanding my empire, to create my dream lifestyle. I will be content with my wealth but at the same time always eager to improve my business portfolio.
Once you’ve done this for each of the three areas, go through them and choose the three most important or common themes in all of them. Use these to write an overall description of your dream lifestyle. Short, sweet and powerful is the key here.
Once you’ve written that, go back to each area and write three goals for each. These goals should be designed to progress you towards that dream lifestyle, no matter how far away it seems right now. The goals should follow good goal-setting rules (there’s articles with advice on goal setting on this website too).
If you’re at that just getting started or unmotivated stage, reduce this down to three goals overall, one for each area, and build up from there over time.
Now, simply get busy trying to achieve your goals. While doing this, re-read (aloud) your overall Dream Lifestyle description three times per week. This will drive up your motivation and confidence as well as keep you on track.
I use this method of self-development with all of my clients and they report great success with it. Sticking to the rule of three helps you stay focused, prioritize what’s important, and keep it challenging, all while remaining realistic.
I also use this myself! I call it the Master Plan.
See my book for much more on how to apply this mind-set and strategy to your life. Best of luck and hope it all goes well for you!
Dan Munro is a lifestyle and success coach, with his own company The Inspirational Lifestyle Ltd. He is the author of “Driven: Practical Guidance for a Successful Lifestyle”. Make sure you checkout more of Dans articles and grab a copy of his book at: http://TheInspirationalLifestyle.com
To learn more about prospering & profiting from your passion, check out this podcast with EJ Carrion:
Fantastic content compacted into a 20 minute interview. Learn the strategies of creating a personal brand built around your purpose.
Check It Out!
To learn more about dan Munro’s book Driven: Practical guidance for a Successful Lifestyle, visit his website: